Christopher's Story .... the Pregnancy

Caroline's Baptism (Photo Credit: J&R Webber) 

     The first trimester was filled with the typical morning/all day sickness along with extreme fatigue. It was summer break for Caroline, and I was either in bed or on the couch, getting out for the occasional errand or checking on the various shops with the bottles.  Thankfully, kids have a great perspective on life and remember the good, because Caroline talks about how fun that summer was, including, but not limited to her making a major decision to follow Jesus, getting baptized and turning 7!  
            
I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes with Caroline, so the doctors wanted to check me early with Christopher.  After failing the first test, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep down the drink for the second test, and I was determined to start the GD diet anyway.  I ended up convincing the doctor to go ahead and diagnose me with GD without the test. She agreed and I started charting my numbers.  They were all high, so I started on insulin at 16 weeks.  At the same time I also started on a progesterone shot once a week to help prevent pre-term labor that was administered up at the hospital.  Due to these two factors and past history, I was labeled ‘high risk’ and sent to a Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor for more specialized care.

Caroline's 7th Birthday (Photo Credit: J&R Webber)

  

Half way through the pregnancy, we were ready for the long awaited Anatomy Ultrasound to find out if we were having a boy or girl. With Caroline’s pregnancy we decided to be surprised and didn’t find out.  Since this pregnancy was already a surprise, we decided to be a little prepared and find out for ourselves.  So, with great anticipation, we went in!  Everything was going well, lots of pictures and measurements.  

20 weeks

When she went in to find the gender, there was a large amount of umbilical cord surrounding the area, so there was no way to get a good picture.  She said, “If I had to guess, it would be a boy.”  IF YOU HAD TO GUESS …. I thought, just tell us you don’t know!   Of course, I couldn’t say that out loud, but I could scream it in my head.  All I could think of was, at least we weren’t planning a gender reveal.  A little disappointing, but totally fine.  Waiting seemed to be a common thread with this pregnancy, so we were happy that everything was going smoothly so far.

            When the doctor came in to talk to us about the ultrasound, the first thing he asked was if we found out what we were having.  We told him the tech couldn’t tell, so he said, “Let’s take another look.”  Although, we thought it was pretty cool that he was going to check for the gender again (which we eventually found out we were having boy), we soon realized that this was his segue to show us some not so great things that were found out with our little one.  Inside our baby’s lungs, a large mass was growing.  A Congenital Cystic Adenomatoid Malformation (CCAM) is a benign mass of abnormal lung tissue that replaces part of the lobe of a fetal lung.  This mass was suspected to continue to grow with the baby until 28 weeks and then it would either stop growing and maintain it’s size or get smaller or it would continue to grow and could lead to potentially fatal complications for the baby and mother.  There was no treatment for a CCAM other than monitoring the growth.  So, we started weekly ultrasounds with the MFM doctor to closely monitor the mass.  

So many ultrasounds, so thankful for technology!

I can remember, clear as day, leaving the ultrasound room and checking out of that appointment.  Everything was very solemn.  Since it was a High Risk Doctor's office, I am sure that they have patients receive news like ours and some much, much more serious very often, so the staff is prepared to handle the patients' reaction.  We stepped to the window to schedule our next appointment and there was no chatter from the nurses and techs at all as there usually was, only silence.  Most were turned around or facing their computer screens with a dead stare.  I noticed the occasional eye contact with a soft sweet 'are you ok?' type of smile.  I knew that they knew and I felt their concern for us and yet their care for us at the same time.  That was when it started to sink in a little more of the severity of what we were facing.  
We went home in shock, not knowing really what to think.  I really couldn’t let myself think of the worst case scenario, even though it was there, I didn’t need to go down that thought path.  I will say, I let myself go through all of the normal feelings for one day – the worry, the fear, the sadness of potential loss or potential health problems for the baby – then I gave it to God. 

Caroline asked her class at church to pray for her new baby brother

At that point, I realized this pregnancy, this child, this mass and anything else that would arise during this time was totally and completely out of our hands.  There was no medicine I could take or exercise I could do that would make this mass go away.  We are commanded not to worry, to take life one day at a time.  When we found out we were pregnant we only told a handful of people at the beginning.  Each of those family and friends were faithful to pray for us when we asked (and even when we didn’t ask I am sure).  My friend Lindsay gave us some advice that stayed with me everyday throughout the entire pregnancy (and I am sure for the rest of my life as well). She explained to me that God gives us the grace that we need for each day.  Not the grace that we will need for 9 months down the road, but what we need just for today.  He will provide that to us.  Those words that she said kept echoing and reminding me that God knew this little one would have this mass and He prepared us with the ultrasound techs and doctors who would find it, right when they needed to and to monitor it.  This gave me so much peace in knowing that, by taking one day at a time, He would sustain us through. 

31 weeks

            Because of my history of preterm labor (Caroline entered into the world at 31 weeks), gestational diabetes and now the health concerns of the baby, the doctors wanted me to deliver out at Sacred Heart Medical Center in Pensacola rather than at Eglin AFB Hospital.  They have a large and capable NICU that would be able to care for the potential complications that we might be facing.  So, I was assigned to a new doctor over in Pensacola who we met at 28 weeks.  Very laid back, helpful, and matter of fact, we discussed my history and at our first visit he told us, “You are basically a ticking time bomb.”  Yep, that’s exactly what you want to hear during a high-risk pregnancy.  He advised us to have a hospital bag ready to go and he had us schedule a C-section for 39 weeks.  I laughed, because I knew there was no way I was making it to February, but I agreed.  

           

            Each week we had an ultrasound, we were told things were progressing well, the growth was either growing minimally or staying the same size.  Since CCAMs are made up of abnormal tissue, it is unknown how the baby’s lungs will react when they take their first breath out of the womb.  Because of this and the fact that they will need to take the mass out as soon as possible, via surgery, we met with the Pediatric Surgeons along with touring the NICU over the next few weeks. 

"Do not be anxious anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7